


take me home.

by thepainlesstruth



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A little angst, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Artist!Levi, Clueless Eren, Coming of Age, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, High School AU, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining!Levi, Rating May Change, Romance, Slow Build, mainly Levi's POV w/ a few Eren POVs, new kid!levi, swimmer!eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-06 06:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8739169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepainlesstruth/pseuds/thepainlesstruth
Summary: It's senior year of high school and Eren is ready to leave the suffocating boundaries of Maria when he meets someone. Levi's both a puzzle and an answer and Eren isn't one to give up a challenge, even if it changes his future forever.Eren and Levi Discover the Secrets of the Universe™





	1. indie pop intro

**Author's Note:**

> I had a sudden urge to write a high school AU and wrote it at 1 in the morning with rainy weather and a cup of tea, which sort of explains the feel of this fic. It sounds a little gloomy but I'm really not planning to make this into an angst story. Sorry if it is a little OOC, I haven't written ereri fic in many months.  
> I will probably continue this fic (maybe 8-10 chapters?) and I'll try to update weekly, depending on schoolwork, etc. Comments and kudos are always appreciated and will motivate me:^)  
> Also: this was originally in second person but I changed it to third because 2nd sounded so personal and I'm not used to writing in it! So if you were one of the original readers and were wondering what happened, there's your answer.  
> With that said, thank you and enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never Let Me Go by Florence & the Machine

“First row, second column. Jean, you sit there,” the teacher scribbles something down on his clipboard. “And Eren…I’m placing you behind Levi. Maybe you’ll catch some brains from him.”

Eren groans inwardly. Jean had been throwing paperclips at him all period, trying to get one stuck in his hair, and eventually the teacher had enough. God knows where he got all those paperclips from.

He all but collapses into the chair behind…Levi? Was that his name? Eren’s never seen him around campus before.

His shoulders tense as Eren unintentionally pushes his desk forward with his stretching legs. He can’t help it; the school’s desks don’t have enough leg room for his long legs.

“Hey,” Eren pokes Levi’s back with the eraser on his pencil. “What are we supposed to be doing?”

Without a word, Levi turns around in his chair and opens Eren’s textbook. His dark fringe covers his eyes and Eren can’t tell what he’s thinking. Levi points to a sentence; then swivels back around.

Eren thinks he’s a little weird, but shrugs it off. Only a few more months of this suffering and he’s out of this suffocating town.

//

Even from across the room, Jean is trying to throw things at him. It’s like his only hobby: “How else can I make Eren pissed off?” They have a sub today so no one cares.

After the fourth pencil accidently hits Levi, he suddenly stands up and marches over to Jean. Eren watches his movements with interest. It’s the first time Levi’s showed any sign of life other than the occasional cough.

Slamming the pencils down on Jean’s desk hard enough to rattle the bolts, Levi leans down and whispers something in his ear. Jean slowly turns white and nods meekly.

When Levi returns, Eren pokes his shirt again and asks what he said to Jean.

“None of your business. Fuck off and stop touching me with your dirty pencil,” is the response.

Eren raises his hands in mock defeat and smirks as Jean pretends to be studying, still pale with fear.

//

Jean is absent today. Eren suspects he ditched class to go to a Drake concert.

Time passes by uneventfully as the teacher drones on and on about DNA replication or some other biology nonsense. He wants to pay attention, he truly does, but it’s impossible when sleep is tugging at his eyelids and the faded swirly patterns on Levi’s shirt are so mesmerizing.

After what seems like an eternity, Eren jumps slightly when the bell rings; its shrill scream sending a shiver down his spine.

Drowsily, he packs up and sees Levi already halfway out the door. For some reason, Eren gets this urge to talk to him, perhaps boredom clouding his judgment.

He runs out the door and calls Levi’s name. Levi turns around so quickly—some kind of inexplicable emotion in his eyes, Eren notices—that he can’t stop his clumsy feet and he crashes right into Levi. Like a traffic collision between a semi and a motorcycle, Eren completely knocks him down, scattering his books and the contents of his heavy backpack.

“I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to,” he apologizes as he tries to untangle himself from Levi’s limbs. A quiet hand slightly brushes his shoulder, stopping his jittery efforts.

“It’s fine. Are you okay?” Levi asks.

Eren looks down for the first time. Levi’s lying there, inky strands littering the cold tile, with a soft look in his eyes. For a brief second, Eren thinks he could be beautiful.

The moment is broken when a few juniors walking by kick one of Levi’s books across the hallway, laughing loudly. “Faggots,” one boy mutters under his breath, sniggering to himself.

Annoyance laces through Eren’s veins and he scrambles to his feet.  
“What the fuck did you say?” He shouts after them. Exhilaration, whether from his revelation about Levi or his anger, pounds in his heart and he really needs a physical outlet.

The boy hears and turns around, an ugly sneer plastered across his ugly face.

“I said, “Faggot,”” he repeats.

“Judging by your vocabulary, I see it’s the only word your parents ever taught you,” Eren taunts.

A flash of anger wipes away his sneer and Eren knows he’s won.

Eren ducks the first blow and gets a few good hits in, but there are too many of them and only one of him.

Aiming a painful kick at someone’s shin, he spots Levi’s textbook near the wall. He grabs it and escapes the mess of fists, running towards Levi who is frantically stuffing his backpack with his fallen items.

“Levi, let’s go!” Eren yells, pulling him to his feet and sprinting down the empty hallway with Levi’s hand clutched tightly in his own. The sound of feet chasing after him fades until the pounding of his heartbeat fills his ears.

Leaving the relative warmth of the school building, the crisp winter air hits his body like a truck, making its way into the crevices of his shirt and the filling his lungs with ice. Eren gasps in surprise but doesn’t slow down.

He rounds a corner and finally stops, releasing Levi’s hand while he tries to catch his breath. A cold November wind ruffles his hair and he suddenly misses the warmth of Levi’s fingers.

“Hey,” he pants, looking up at Levi. “Did you get all your stuff?”

The soft look in his eyes from before is gone, transfigured into cold orbs of steel instead.

“You fucker! I left my calculator back there,” he hisses.

Straightening up, Eren hands Levi’s textbook back. “I’m sorry,” he starts to say.

“Stop apologizing; is that the only thing you know how to say? If you were going to regret it, why did you even start the fight?” He glares at Eren, arms folded tightly across his chest. It’s probably intimidating to others but Eren thinks it’s a little cute.

Eren grins slyly. “But I don’t regret it.” The metallic tang of iron fills his mouth when he licks his lips. Damn. That boy got him good there.

Shaking his head, Levi mutters, “I don’t get you at all.” He glances at his watch and inhales sharply. “But thanks for making me miss my bus.”

Eren feels bad, because it’s all his fault, really. So he offers the only thing he can.

“Do you…want a ride? I have a car.”

For a second, Levi looks like he wants to refuse just to be stubborn, but realizes that he has almost no other way of getting home.

“…Yes,” He grudgingly admits. “Please.”

Grinning, Eren fishes out his car keys and beckons to Levi over his shoulder. “Well, then, come on.”

They walk across the grassy courtyard in near silence, only broken by their muted footsteps. A chilly breeze shakes the tree branches and Eren shivers, rubbing his bare arms. He left his jacket in the classroom in the rush to catch Levi.

Levi sees Eren shiver and sighs, but doesn’t mention it.

//

Pulling out of the parking lot, Eren asks Levi for his address. He’s silent for a moment, as if contemplating whether to reveal his address to a near stranger; then gives the directions. It’s actually farther away than Eren thought it would be; about a twenty-five minute drive.

An awkward silence fills the car until he can’t stand it anymore. When he turns on his stereo, Florence and the Machine starts playing. He blushes and moves to turn it off—the indie pop thing doesn’t really fit his image—but Levi stops him with a gentle touch.

“You like them?” Eren asks.

“Yeah,” Levi nods, looking out the window at the buildings and houses whipping by. His breaths create small puffs of fog on the glass and he traces a smiley on it. The fog fades a moment later but the smiley face is still visible from a certain angle.

Florence’s haunting voice fills the car and Eren drives in a mellow peace until they reach Levi’s house. It’s in a small suburban neighborhood, surrounded by maple trees and looking oddly normal. “We’re here,” he announces.

When no response comes, Eren looks over to see Levi pressed against the door, dozing softly. Unknowingly, he smiles a little before tapping Levi’s shoulder.

“Hey, Levi?”

Slowly, Levi wakes up from his sleep and seems disoriented for a second before realizing where he is.

“Oh. Yeah, this is it. Thanks,” he opens the car door and turns to Eren to say goodbye but notices the dried blood on his lower lip. For a second, he looks uncertain, battling some secret dilemma, before coming to a decision.

“Actually…do you want to come inside? I’ll get you something for your lip.”

Eren hesitates because he barely knows Levi but hell, he’s been an enigma to Eren for God knows how long and he can’t help but be slightly interested.

“Okay,” he says, unbuckling his seatbelt.


	2. slight touches and tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some intro & background into their lives:) Kudos and comments are much appreciated:^)  
> I Believe by Christina Perri

He’s panicking because he thinks he lost his key but then his fingers catch on a cool, ragged edge and he sighs a breath of relief.

“There you are,” he mutters under his breath and unlocks the front door. It squeaks as it opens, revealing a dark foyer and specks of dust glimmering in the afternoon sunlight.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Eren sniff at the musty, damp smell that is typical of an old yet new house; a house that has been built decades ago but never fully lived in. Until now.

Eren is the first to speak. “This is nice. I like it.”

Levi snorts, shaking his head. “It’s really not. Kenny doesn’t give a shit about this house and it shows,” he says, nodding at the cracked floorboards.

At Eren’s confused look, Levi clarifies, “Kenny’s my uncle. My parents made him my guardian in their will so now I’m stuck with him and he’s stuck with me. Anyways,” he continues, “Leave your shoes here. I don’t want dirt all over my clean carpet.”

He leads Eren into the kitchen and snaps open the blinds, letting in some much needed light. He leaves Eren to squint at the dining table while he looks for the ever evasive tube of Neosporin.

“What happened to your parents?” Eren asks, tracing the slight scratches in the woodwork.

“That’s another story for another time,” Levi says, but then wishes he could take it back. Was there even going to be another time?

“Oh.” Then: “So when did you move here? I don’t think I’ve seen you around campus before.”

Removing his head from the medicine cabinet, Levi replies, “Beginning of the school year.”

“Really? Are you sure it wasn’t like a week ago?”

Levi shoots him a glare. “Just because you finally remembered my name doesn’t mean I didn’t exist before then. I’m in your art class too, goddammit,” he adds, a little bitter.

Eren rubs his eyes, groaning. “I’m really dense, sorry. And it’s kinda hard to focus while sleeping, you know. I’m only taking art because I need the credit to graduate.”

Levi snorts. “Yeah, I figured. Your two-point perspective looks like one,” he says, pulling out a chair next to the window and motioning to it, ignoring Eren’s protests. “C’mere.”

Eren sits down with a _hmph_. “I’ll have you know that it was worth a solid B.”

Sitting parallel to the fading sunlight, the left side of Eren’s face is perfectly lit while the right side is dark, like two halves of a moon. His eyelashes cast faint, spidery shadows on his cheek and Levi, the aching artist that he is, silently mourns the opportunity to sketch the sight before him.

When Levi steps closer to get a better look at Eren’s lip, his leg nudges the inside of Eren’s thigh and Eren unknowingly shivers. Levi bites his tongue and hopes the lighting hides his faint blush.

He grabs a cotton ball and dips it in a little rubbing alcohol before lightly dabbing at the cut. Eren winces at the sting and Levi blows on it before he can stop himself. God, he’s such a mom.

The corners of Eren’s mouth twitch under Levi’s ministrations and his eyes crinkle in mirth. “You know, my parents are doctors,” he murmurs, trying not to move his lips.

Levi tsks. “Judging by your lack of responsibility, I’m not sure you can take care of yourself.”

“It’s just a small cut,” Eren whines.

“Yeah, but wait until it becomes an ugly scab and you peel it off and it starts bleeding again and—”

Eren closes his eyes and shudders. “Okay, okay, I get it.”

Smirking, Levi discards the cotton ball and uses a Q-tip to smear some Neosporin on the cut. He lifts Eren’s chin to turn it toward the sunlight and his thumb accidently brushes against the soft skin of his lip. Suddenly, Levi realizes that Eren’s mouth is very much red and full and kissable and oh, what he would do to sink his teeth into that plush flesh—

“I think that’s good,” Levi whispers in a strangled voice.

Quickly curling his shaking fingers into a fist, Levi abruptly drops his hand and forces himself to walk calmly to the kitchen, even though he feels like running out the door and away, away, away. Away from this stupid schoolboy crush and away from his heart that’s beating a mile a minute. Stupid.

He busies himself with boiling some water and sets two mugs on the counter; they clink loud enough to crack and Levi wills his fingers to stop trembling.

He knows he’s been noticing Eren at school far more often than what seems healthy, but he had chalked it up to curiosity and loneliness. He suddenly realizes how bizarre it is that he’s standing in his kitchen making tea, while his slight crush is sitting a couple feet away, looking ridiculously adorable while swinging his feet and humming The 1975. Eren, the annoying, boring, sleepy jock with deliciously toned forearms that almost seem unfair. Not to mention that he is as straight as a washboard. Levi cries out in frustration and drops his face into his hands, leaning heavily on the marble counter. He’s so fucked.

“Hey,” Eren says, walking over. “Everything alright?”

Levi nods rapidly. “Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I be alright? Also, do you take sugar or milk?”

Eren furrows his messy, thick-ass eyebrows. Goddammit, his eyebrow game was not on par with Levi’s and he still liked him.

“Ummmmm...I usually don’t drink tea. I’m more of a coffee guy,” Eren admits, sending Levi a sheepish grin that twists his insides and makes him unpleasantly lightheaded.

Groaning loudly, Levi throws his hands up in the air and curses whichever god gave him this unbelievably immature crush.

“I give up!” He yells, stalking out of the kitchen and flopping on the couch. With his head buried in the couch cushions, he doesn’t hear anything but silence from the kitchen and wonders with a grimace if he scared Eren away. Well, it would be for the better anyways.

A moment later, he feels a toe nudge his side and jerks in surprise. Turning onto his back, he sees Eren looking down on him with two steaming mugs and a rakish grin.

“I think I did a pretty good job for my first try,” he brags, holding out a mug. Levi grabs it and sits up in one fluid motion; his core thanking the sit-ups he did over the summer.

“You literally put a teabag into a cup of hot water. How would you even mess that up?”

He watches Eren settle into the old, ratty couch and takes a sip. And almost spits it back out. Instead, he hurriedly swallows the scalding liquid, burning his tongue and throat.

Apparently, some people had a harder time making tea than others.

Coughing, he yells, “Jesus, how long did you boil the water?”

The tips of Eren’s ears turn red and he dips his pinky into his mug, testing the temperature.

“Ow, that’s hot!” He exclaims, pulling his finger away and sucking on it.

“I really didn’t need second-degree burns on my esophagus,” Levi laments.

“I’m so sorry,” Eren says, tugging nervously on the ends of his hair. “I was looking for the teabags and I didn’t realize it had been boiling for so long.”

“It’s fine,” Levi sighs. “I mean, it still tastes decent somehow. Surprising, though, how my taste buds aren’t burnt off.”

“I’m really sorry, I only—”

“Stop apologizing!” Levi interrupts, exasperated.

“—feel like I’ve been an inconvenience to you all day. I really just wanted to say hi after school,” Eren finishes lamely.

Levi shakes his head and sinks back into his ugly excuse for a couch. He can see the stuffing slowly pushing its way out of the seams and runs a finger along a frayed edge.

He sighs. “To be honest, you’re the first person I’ve talked to in months. It feels fucking nice to have a…” Friend? Is that what they were? “…Conversation.”

“Don’t you talk to the teachers?”

Levi rolls his eyes and responds sarcastically, “Oh yeah, sure. Because discussing my schedule and grades are the only things I ever want to talk about. Don’t be cheeky with me.” He takes a sip of his tea, more carefully this time, and his whole body relaxes as warmth floods his insides.

“Well, then what about your uncle?” Eren asks, owl-like eyes peering over the rim of his mug.

“I’ll get back to you on that when he actually comes home for once. It’s like he dumped me in this house in the middle of nowhere and then disappeared!” Levi says, eyebrows bunched in annoyance. “But I mean, not that I’m complaining. As long as CPS doesn’t come by for a surprise visit, I like living by myself.”

Eren nods in agreement. “Me too. My mom is a paramedic and my dad is a surgeon so they’re rarely around. It’s like owning your own house but without having to pay the bills.”

“Enjoy it while you can because you’re going to have to dorm with someone in college.”

“Ugh, I know, right?” Eren moans. “My scholarship doesn’t include my own personal room.”

Levi blinks in surprise. “Scholarship?” He asks, interest piqued.

“Yeah, I was scouted by Sina Uni’s swim program,” Eren says casually, flapping his hand as if it was no big deal.

“Oh,” Levi says dumbly. “I didn’t know you swam.” He almost thought Eren was just a freeloader who didn’t care much about anything. But then how else would those delicious biceps be explained?

Eren puffs up proudly, much like a male peacock. “I have the best 200 freestyle time in all of Maria,” he preens.

“Wow,” Levi says. “Impressive.”

“So you do art?”

Levi scoffs. “I don’t _do_ art. I _make_ art.”

Eren laughs, cheeks forming cute little dimples. “Can I see?”

Immediately Levi tenses. The paintings and drawings he did at home were different than the ones at school. These were more personal; his anger and sorrow hidden carefully beneath the slashes of charcoal and splashes of watercolor.

“Um, I’ll show you at school. I only take the shitty ones home,” he lies.

“Okay,” Eren smiles and Levi feels like he could stare at that smile forever, even if the brightness turns him blind.

They sit amicably, sipping their cooling tea and listening to the ticking of the clock, when Eren’s phone buzzes.

“Crap. I forgot we had swim practice today. Oh God, Coach Hannes is gonna be so mad,” he groans, standing up.

Levi laughs, the first in a long time. “Great, you missed a day of practice. Now you won’t be the fastest anymore, I guess.”

“Shut up,” Eren grins. “We have a meet coming up soon and Coach is pushing us hard. It’s against our rival school, Rose.”

“Well, you better get good soon,” Levi smirks.

“I _am_ good!” Eren exclaims.

Levi walks him to the front door and watches as Eren tries to tie his shoes while hopping up and down on one foot.

“Thanks for having me,” Eren says. “I promise I won’t pick at my scab.”

Levi pulls a face. “Gross. And thanks again for the ride.”

“You know, you’re pretty chill, Levi,” Eren says, smiling down at him. “See you tomorrow.”

“Drive safely.”

Levi waits until Eren is in his car and waves back when Eren yells “bye” from the window. Watching Eren's taillights fade in the distance, he’s warm, despite the cold air and darkening sky outside. He closes the door but it feels more like opening a door to whatever lies in his future. 


	3. meeting the friendos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter...hope you guys like it:) Winter break just started and so I will have more time to write! Thanks for reading and kudos/comments are much much much appreciated.  
> PS This fic takes place in 2009 ish if I am to set a time frame.  
> Youth by Troye Sivan

Thursday morning dawns bright and early, bringing another wave of the icy front that had been looming over Maria for the last few weeks. Somehow, Eren finds the energy to wake up and drive to school, braving the frozen, slippery roads. Call it senioritis or whatever, but it was getting harder and harder every day to drag himself out of the warm comfort of his bed.

Pulling into his parking spot, he groans and rests his forehead on the cold steering wheel, reluctant to face the snow in his thin sweater and jeans. His muscles ache down to his bones. Coach had driven everyone extra hard yesterday, especially Eren, to make up for the time he had missed.

The time he had spent at Levi’s house. Staring at the logo of his 2009 Toyota Tacoma—the latest gift from his near-absent parents—he wonders if it had all been a dream. The gentle touch of fingers on his jaw, the faint blush across Levi’s cheeks, the too-hot tea… They had only spent an hour or two together and Eren felt oddly unsatisfied; the burning curiosity still rooted deep inside his throat.

Sighing, he turns his head to the side, being careful not to press the horn, and watches his breath form clouds in the still air. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the smiley Levi had drawn, still faintly visible against the pristine white backdrop. Smiling slightly, he turns on the stereo and listens to The xx in those few minutes where everything seems caught in time, immobile and static.

_I want to find myself by the sea / In another’s company—_

A sharp rapping on his window wakes him and he blinks blearily at the foggy figure.

“The bell just rang a few seconds ago,” Armin mouths at him, waving frantically.

“Crap,” Eren curses as he grabs his backpack and trips out of the truck.

//

Levi can feel Eren’s gaze burn holes into the back of his neck and he can’t focus on his damn sketch. Class had started fifteen minutes ago and instead of falling asleep like he usually did, Eren was intent on making Levi’s neck prickle with the heat of his stare.

Exhaling loudly, Levi erases at his paper with more force than necessary and accidently knocks his pencil off the table. But before he can reach down to get it, nimble fingers pick up his pencil and gently place it back on his notepad. Surprised, Levi looks up to see Eren smiling down at him.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, returning to his sketch.

Eren takes a seat next to him. “So what’re you drawing?”

Levi pointedly looks at the still life display in front of him. It’s quite obvious, he thinks.

“What-oh, I see,” Eren says. “A key, candle, and a spoon. Very nice.”

“Each one has their own meaning, you know,” Levi explains.

“Even better,” Eren nods in a scholarly fashion. “Please, go on.”

Levi hides a grin but decides to play along. “Well, the theme is mystery. A key to open locks, a candle to reveal their secrets, and a spoon for…wait,” Levi frowns. It had made sense to him earlier when he was assembling the objects. “…I forgot,” he admits.

Laughing, Eren accidently blows out the candle flame.

“Eren!” Levi exclaims and slaps him on the shoulder.

“Sorry, I’ll light it again for you,” Eren says, still chuckling quietly.

“Shouldn’t you be working?” Levi asks.

Eren sneaks a glance at Ms. Brzenska tapping away at her laptop.

“Nah, she doesn’t give a shit what we do anyways.” Eren yawns. 

“Until she actually assigns a project,” Levi mutters.

“Which will be never. What do you think she does on that laptop? It’s like her eyes are glued to it.”

Levi shrugs. “Stalks Facebook, binge-watches The Office, reads erotica…who the hell knows?” He mutters, still mostly engrossed in sketching the elusive edge of the spoon. His pencil was refusing to draw a continuous curve and kept stuttering on the cheap paper.

“Here,” Eren says, taking the sketchpad from him. He erases Levi’s unsuccessful attempts and traces a smooth arc in one long sweep of graphite.

“Wow, I hate you,” Levi grumbles, stealing back his drawing. “You’re a pro swimmer _and_ a better artist than me.”

Eren blushes. “I’m not a pro.”

“Yet,” Levi retorts.

“It’s because I used to draw a lot of circles as a kid. Helped calm my anger issues and shit,” Eren says, rocking back in his chair and gazing at the ceiling.

“How does that work?”

“Well, the circles were supposed to signify coming full circle; like how anything I was mad about would eventually resolve itself and make sense in the end. Kind of like a good karma? I don’t know, but it worked. And believe me, if I can draw anything, it’s perfectly symmetrical circles.”

“So it’s like your claim to fame.”

“Sure, why not,” Eren smiles.

Suddenly the bell rings and Levi jumps in his seat.

“Hey, what class do you have next?” Eren asks.

“Health,” Levi replies. “Why?”

“That’s great, you can ditch with me,” Eren decides quickly.

Levi shakes his head. “No, I don’t think—”

“Come on, no one cares about health. It’s all about eating healthy and exercise and sex ed which you probably have first-hand experience in, since you’re really hot. No homo!” Eren laughs and Levi is too flustered to say anything before he’s being pulled out of class and out to the parking lot.

//

How did this happen, Levi thinks as he finds himself squished in the bed of Eren’s truck with four of Eren’s friends. They’re driving along to God knows where and Levi is certain he’s being trafficked. The temperature outside is still frigid and it doesn’t help that Eren is driving way over the speed limit; any exposed part of Levi’s body is continuously pelted with invisible shards of ice.

“Hey, Eren, we there yet?” A girl with brown hair yells. She looks frantic and desperate. Maybe they’ve actually been kidnapped.

“Yeah, Sasha’s starving here!” Adds her boyfriend, a short bald boy.

“Shut up Connie, you’re going to make Eren lose his focus and we’re going to crash and die!” Mikasa shouts back from the shotgun seat. Levi knows her name because he has health with her, which she is apparently ditching as well.

“Dude, Mikasa, chill; I’ve had my license for a year, Jesus Christ!” Eren exclaims, exasperated. It seems Mikasa is a bigger mom friend than Levi.

“Oh my God,” Jean groans and covers his eyes. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

A pale, freckled boy pats his back sympathetically. “Babe, we’re almost there. Just hold on for a little bit.”

“I love you, Marco,” Jean moans and leans on him heavily. “Telling you in case I die.”

“I love you too, Jean,” Marco replies as he brushes snow off Jean’s cheap blond hair.

“Boo-hoo, Jean. This happens every time you get in a car and you haven’t died yet,” Sasha points out.

“If you throw up on me, I will kill you,” Levi says.

“Marco!” Jean nearly screams, pointing at Levi. “That’s the guy who threatened to stick pencils up my ass if I hit him with a pen again,” he accuses. “Please beat him up for me, Marco.”

Marco only pats Jean’s head like one would pet a puppy and smiles sweetly at Levi. God, he thinks he’s going to get cavities or diabetes or both.

Still, Levi doesn’t like being called out and he’s about to clarify matters when Eren starts laughing hysterically from the front.

“Oh my God, that’s so great, you’re such a savage, Levi!”

“Stopppp,” the whole group yells back in unison.

“If I hear Eren say “savage” again, I will throw my shoe at him,” Connie declares.

“Savage,” Eren whispers, but the wind carries his voice back to the truck bed.

A moment later: “Hey!” Eren and Mikasa shout simultaneously as a pair of Nikes fly through the rear window and hit Eren squarely in the back of his head. Everyone laughs and high-fives Connie, who grins victoriously.

“My toes are cold now,” Connie bemoans, and buries his feet in Sasha’s lap.

//

Eventually, the truck slows down and Eren parks in front of an old, run-down building. Levi looks at it with suspicion.

“Is this some kind of rest stop for you kidnappers?” He asks.

Eren laughs and claps him on the shoulder. “Good joke, Levi.”

“But I’m serious—”

The door jingles as they push through it and it reveals a small but clean cafeteria.

“Mom, we’re here!” Jean calls.

“Wait, this is a restaurant?”

“Yeah, there’s no sign right now because they’re renovating it,” Marco explains.

Levi sighs and rubs his eyes. “Why doesn’t anyone _tell_ me these things?”

A woman in her late thirties comes bustling out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a red apron and fixing her ponytail.

“Jean-bo!” She kisses Jean on both cheeks and he groans, pulling away and wiping at her lipstick. “Oh, and you even brought all your friends, how wonderful!”

“Hi, Mrs. Kirstein,” they all greet, Levi mumbling along awkwardly.

“Eren! How is Carla doing? You know, she asked me for my apple strudel recipe the other day and I haven’t had a chance to tell her…” She hums while rummaging around her apron pockets.

“Ah, here it is!” She pulls out a crumpled note and slips it in Eren’s jacket, patting his cheek. “Make sure you get this to her, okay?”

“Thanks, Mrs. Kirstein,” Eren says, grimacing at the flour-covered envelope. Amused, Levi unfortunately snorts rather loudly.

Mrs. Kirstein notices Levi lurking near the back of the group and envelops him in a large and squishy hug. When she releases him, he feels flour dust his hair and settle on his clothes.

“I see Jean-bo has made another friend! Please be nice to him; he’s a little troublesome, but he’s _my_ problem child,” her tone turns slightly menacing with the last few words. She beams at him.

A little afraid, Levi nods furiously. “Of course, Jean is a great guy…”

“Moooom,” Jean whines. “Stop bothering Levi and just make us some food.”

“Of course, Jeanie,” she says, pinching his cheek. “Anything for my darling baby.”

Mikasa and Sasha disappear inside the kitchen to help her cook and the rest of them sit at a table, hungry and bored.

“You know, we could’ve waited until lunch,” Levi points out. “Instead of skipping class.”

Eren shakes his head adamantly. “No, because Sasha can’t wait that long and ‘cause one hour is not enough time to eat. Believe me; you won’t regret it after you try Mrs. Kirstein’s _eintopf_.”

“Ein-what?”

Eren flaps his hand. “You’ll get it after you taste it.”

“So are you guys all on the swim team?” Levi asks, trying to make conversation.

Jean and Marco nod, while Connie says, “Nah, I play basketball. See these kicks?” He lifts his leg and points at his shoes. “Air Jordans. The only babies I’ll ever have.”

“You were quite keen to throw them at Eren,” Levi mutters.

Connie waves a hand. “Nah, Eren would buy me another pair if something happened to them. Right, Eren?”

“Sure, whatever, Connie.” Eren mumbles, averting his eyes and fidgeting uncomfortably.  

Jean guffaws. “Oh yeah, Eren’s filthy rich. He lives in a huge-ass house and—”

Eren coughs loudly before Levi can hear any more.  “Levi, don’t you think Connie’s too short to play basketball?” He asks, effectively changing the topic.

“Hey!” Connie protests. “I may be small but I can bring the house down, alright?”

Any further arguments are dissipated when Mikasa and Sasha exit the kitchen with large trays of steaming sausage and potatoes. Levi’s stomach grumbles and he’s quite glad he skipped class, because _oh my God_ , Mrs. Kirstein’s _eintopf_ is literal heaven.

//

They arrive back at school just before the end of lunch, sleepy and sated. It’s warm inside his truck with the heater on full blast and Eren doesn’t want to go back to class.

Hopping out of the cab, he rounds the bumper and scrambles into the truck bed, hissing when his fingers touch the cold metal. It’s oddly quiet with everyone snuggled in the corner and dozing soundly. Levi sits across them and studies their faces with a calm serenity.

“Hey.”

Levi turns to look at him and his eyes brighten slightly.

“What do you think of them?” Eren asks, nodding at his friends.

“They’re…interesting. Like Chex Mix, I guess,” Levi shrugs. There’s no other way to describe it; each person leaves a different taste in his mouth. Some he likes better than others, definitely, but it would feel incomplete with the absence of one.

Levi gestures to Jean with a vague hand. “You know, I never would’ve thought he was…gay.”

Jean sniffles and burrows deeper into the curve of Marco’s arm.

Eren stiffens and shoots Levi a sharp look. “Do you have a problem with that?”

“No! No, of course not,” Levi stammers. “…I’m actually gay myself,” he admits quietly. It feels weird to say something he’s never told anyone before, let alone a bunch of possibly sleeping teenagers, but he is relieved at how easily it fades into the air. _Like smoke._

Eren appears unfazed. “Then are you interested in Jean? Sorry, but he’s obviously taken.”

Levi groans. “Jean is the last person I would like. Believe me, I already have someone I’m interested in,” he mumbles and turns away in annoyance as his face flushes slightly. He can feel Eren’s palpable curiosity and grimaces at his next question.

“Who is it?”

Levi is about to call his own bluff when thankfully, the bell rings and Levi can’t get off the truck fast enough.

“Levi!” Eren calls after him. “I’ll see you in bio!”

Hoisting his backpack onto his right shoulder, Levi walks away quickly without a glance backwards. It was already bad enough that he almost spilled his guts to Eren. What was next, his emotional baggage? No thank you.

Eren watches Levi hurry away with a sense of disappointment. He had thought they were closer after Levi seemed to get along well with his friends during lunch, but instead Levi was still just as indecipherable as when they first met. But Eren was sure Levi was just like a clam; coax it open and inside there lay the greatest treasure of all.

He feels a tug on his jeans and glances downward to see Mikasa looking at him. Her gaze is perceptive and her eyes are bright. Eren realizes with a pang that she was awake all along.

She pulls him down to eye level and whispers in his ear.

“It’s you.”


	4. what are we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everybody! (Or happy holidays to those that don't celebrate it)  
> Boats and Birds by Gregory and the Hawk

Eren walks into the classroom and sees Levi already sitting at his desk, pencil idly tapping against the wood. Before taking his seat, he pauses.

“Hey,” he says hesitantly. He’s not quite sure how to act after Levi’s outburst. Being gay was not new to him; hell, most of his friends weren’t straight, but Levi had left in such an abrupt manner that Eren feared he had offended him.

Levi looks up at him and swallows. “Oh, hey.”

“Are you…okay?”

Levi opens his mouth to speak but seems to change his mind, pressing his lips into a thin line instead. A moment later, he asks, “Eren…we are friends, right?”

Eren blinks, a little taken aback. “Yeah, I mean, we only met like two days ago but yes, definitely. If you want, that is.”

Levi nods and averts his eyes. “Then, can we forget that I’m gay?” He knows Eren has nothing against his sexuality but he’s not Jean or Marco. His link with Eren is fragile at best and he only wants Eren to act normally with him.

“Oh,” Eren says, a little disappointed. He wanted to ask Levi about what Mikasa had said but Eren believed in respecting others’ boundaries more than sating his own curiosity. So he tamps down his confusion and nods. “Sure, of course.”

“Thanks,” Levi replies, relief written across his face.

Eren leans down to look Levi in the eye. “I won’t mention it, but I’m here if you need to talk.”

Levi smiles at him and it’s much more flattering than the frown he was wearing earlier.

“I know.”

The teacher claps his hands to quiet the class and Eren takes his seat behind Levi. Staring at the back of Levi’s head, he thinks maybe he won’t sleep in class today.

//

After the period is over, Eren taps on Levi’s shoulder and shows him the pages of notes he took.

“I’m going to ace this next test,” he proclaims proudly.

Levi glances at the notebook and skims over Eren’s cramped chicken scrawl. “You missed telophase here,” he says, pointing between two bullet points. “And it’s organism, not orgasm.”

Eren blushes and snaps his notebook closed, shoving it into his backpack. “At least I tried,” he mutters.

Levi laughs. “You know, I’ll help you study if you need.”

“I’d rather kill my own brain cells, thanks.”

Levi shrugs. “Suit yourself. See you tomorrow.”

“Wait,” Eren calls after him.

“Are you trying to make me lose my bus again?”

“Well actually, there’s an art club after school and I was wondering if you wanted to go?”

Levi shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. I like working on projects by myself.” He turns to walk away.

Eren grabs his arm. “Come on, it’s really nice. I’ve been there once and everyone does their own thing. The club just offers a clean space and supplies.”

Levi wants to tell him that it’s really fine but then he remembers that he’s out of canvases. “Are there free canvases?”

Eren nods. “Well, you only get one a week but you don’t need a new canvas every day, right?”

“It sounds tempting but…how will I get home?” Levi asks.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Eren says hurriedly. “I have swim practice after school and they end around the same time. I know because I ditched once and Coach caught me walking out of Ms. Brzenska’s room,” he flushes, kicking at an invisible spot.

“Is that really okay? I know my house is a little far.”

“My parents give me enough gas money that I could drive to Sina and back five times without running out,” Eren sighs. He’s a little bitter that his parents pamper him by buying him things instead of being there when he needs them, but he’s old enough to understand that they can’t help their busy schedule and honest intentions.

Levi grins. “I guess I’ll go, then.”

//

He watches Eren walk away and takes a deep breath before opening the door to the art studio. Levi didn’t want to make any friends—he’s only in Maria for a year anyways—but he couldn’t resist. Eren shone a light that cleared the dust in the corners of his lonely heart and made his blood race. It was addicting, and Levi yearned for the comfort and trust that only another person could provide.

It was fine if they stayed friends. Just a year and they would go their separate ways.

The studio is bright and quiet, a few students scattered around tables and easels. He’s not sure how to start and lingers around the door nervously.

“Oh, hi, are you new here?” A blond student approaches him.

“Yeah, I’m Levi,” he replies.

“I’m Erwin. Here, follow me.”

They stop at a round table in the far corner. “I thought you would like a more secluded place,” Erwin says, peering at Levi closely. “You look like the type. Do you need me to show you where everything is?”

Levi shakes his head. “No, I take art classes here. Can I just use whatever?” He asks, gesturing at the cabinets of paint and brushes.

Erwin nods. “Basically. But in moderation, okay?”

“Sure, no problem,” Levi agrees.

“Ask me if you have any questions. The theme for the week is self-portrait. For inspiration,” he clarifies.

“Thanks,” Levi says. He ponders the idea of a self-portrait. He doesn’t think he’s necessarily good-looking or worthy of a blank canvas but he’s never done one before and it’s intriguing.

Erwin stares at him for a moment longer. “You know what, I’ll bring my work over. Could you critique it?”

 

//

After swim practice, Eren waves goodbye to Jean and Marco and watches the steam rise from his skin, courtesy of the hot shower. Walking towards the art room, he sees Levi exit and is about to call his name when Levi turns around to talk to someone. Squinting closely, he sees that it’s Erwin, student body president and NHS president and Red Cross president, et cetera. He is effortlessly flawless, with his perfectly groomed eyebrows and well-fitting clothes—and Eren doesn’t like him. Doesn’t like the way he touches Levi’s arm as they leave the building and doesn’t like how he makes Levi laugh loudly, head thrown back and teeth bared in a large grin. It’s unfair that Levi’s never this open with Eren but he can with some stranger. Something tells Eren that he shouldn’t be feeling like this and he tries his best to suppress his jealousy. Perhaps he’s being too irrational.

 _It’s good that Levi is making friends_ , Eren tells himself. _It’s good_.

He crosses his arms and leans against a pole, exhaling large plumes of fog into the frigid air. It’s going to snow soon, he thinks.

Levi spots him and waves, saying a quick goodbye to Erwin. Eren doesn’t notice the way Levi’s step quickens and the way his eyes light up, like a firefly after dusk.

“Hey,” Levi breathes, a bit breathless. From the wind chill or from seeing Eren and his dripping hair, he doesn’t know. “Let’s go, you’re going to catch a cold in that state.”

Eren shrugs. “My hair’s frozen once or twice before. It’s the only way it stays still.” He shakes his head like a wet dog and water droplets fly off.

Levi hisses as some land on his exposed skin. “Shit, that’s cold.” He grimaces and links his arm through Eren’s, dragging him to the parking lot. “Where the fuck is your car?”

//

Eren pulls into the driveway of Levi’s house and kills the engine.

“Thanks, drive home safe,” Levi says, unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Wait,” Eren bites his lip. He’s been thinking about this the entire drive here and he can’t stay quiet any longer. “Is the person you like…Erwin?”

Levi blinks at him, surprised, and then grins widely.

“You-you thought,” he laughs. “What the _fuck_?"

Eren slumps down in his seat. “I don’t know, you seemed like you were having a lot of fun,” he grumbles.

“Oh my God, he tells the stupidest dad jokes. He is literally a blond Michael Scott,” Levi smirks, shaking his head in amusement. “Anyways, the answer is no. I’m not interested in him.”

“Oh, okay,” Eren says, feeling a little relieved. “Yeah, you deserve someone better.”

“Who, like you?” Levi jokes. But Eren stiffens and looks out the window, neither refuting nor confirming the claim. He’s never thought about it that way but maybe it was an unconscious decision.

All of a sudden, it’s silent and the car feels suffocating.

Levi asks quietly, “Eren, are you saying you’re good for me?”

Eren shakes his head abruptly. “Forget it. I-nevermind.”

Levi turns away, disappointed but unsurprised. What did he expect; Eren to unexpectedly proclaim his undying love?

“Hey, that reminds me,” Levi says quickly. “I’m painting a self-portrait and I need you to take a picture of me.”

Eren shoots him a sideways glance. “Aren’t you supposed to paint what you _think_ you look like? Isn’t that kind of the point?”

Levi punches him lightly. “I want to make it realistic, okay? Are you going to help me or not?”

“Fine, fine,” Eren concedes. “Narcissist.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I want to stare at my imperfections for hours,” Levi scoffs, getting out of the car.

 _What imperfections_ , Eren thinks, but doesn’t say anything.

//

Levi leads him to a room filled with unfinished paintings and rough sketches strewn across the floor. Eren sees a collection propped against the far wall and approaches it, interest piqued. He’s about to pull off the white sheet that covers the paintings when Levi grabs his hand.

“Don’t.”

Eren wants to ask why not but he sees the warning in Levi’s eyes and swallows his question. Levi hands him a camera and sits down in a chair.

“I spent two summers working my ass off for that camera so you better not drop it.”

Eren nods and positions himself in front of Levi, being careful not to block the sunlight.

“Okay. One, two, three,” he counts; then the shutter click clacks in the otherwise still room.

Levi blinks away the dark spots. “Was that a good shot?”

“Um…” Eren shows the tiny screen to Levi, eyes flickering back and forth from the camera to Levi's face. “Actually…it's pretty interesting. See how your pupils are dilated but the corners of your lips are downturned? I think…you look like you’re missing something. Or someone. Almost like you want them so much it’s painful.” Eren tugs at his hair. “It’s kind of weird; your pupils are supposed to dilate when you see someone you love...but there’s no one else here, right? Except," Eren inhales sharply. "Me.”

Oh no no no no. This was not happening. Levi snatches back the camera. “I didn’t ask for you to decipher my facial expressions.”

“My dad studied psychology. I’m not wrong.” Eren regrets his words immediately when Levi's expression hardens. 

“Leave.” Levi bites out, pointing at the doorway. 

"Wait, what do you mean—"

"I can't talk to you right now."

Eren drops his hands in surrender. "Fine, suit yourself. I was just-you know what? I don't care." He leaves the room and slams the front door closed, rattling the windows in a way that surely meant they were strangers again.

Levi's anger subsides and suddenly he feels very old and weary. He unclenches his fingers from around the camera and looks at the picture again. 

Eren was right. Levi saw Eren behind the lens and for a moment, wanted something he couldn’t have. Wanted to touch Eren’s damp hair; card his fingers through the soft strands. Wanted to reassure Eren that nothing could ever happen between him and another guy, because Eren was the only one.

And it wasn’t Eren’s fault for noticing his yearning. Because even Levi can see it in the photo, etched into every small hair and pore of his being.

Immediately he regrets kicking Eren out and rushes back to the front door. By now, Levi realizes Eren must’ve left already. Still, he opens the door because he’s a masochist and he needs physical evidence that their fragile friendship is over.

But it’s not. Eren’s sitting on the porch, face buried in his hands and looking very small indeed.

Carefully, Levi pads out to sit next to him.

“Hey, I-I’m sorry,” he whispers.

Eren shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. It’s only a fucking picture and I tried to force you into a position that didn’t exist.”

Levi sighs. “I overreacted, though. Because you were right. I like someone and it hurts.”

“Were you thinking of them when I took the picture?”

Levi swallows the pressure building in the back of his throat. “Yeah. I’ll tell you who…one day.”

Eren nods. Sniffling, Levi unconsciously leans into his heat. Eren winds a hesitant arm around his shoulder.

“It’s cold,” Eren mumbles, avoiding eye contact. It’s perfectly normal. He would do the same with Armin if it was necessary.

“Levi,” Eren says a moment later.

“What?”

“Promise me you’ll finish the self-portrait.”

“Why?” Levi asks, surprised by the seemingly arbitrary request.

“I want you to look at that painting every day and remember why you felt that way. So you never cause yourself the same kind of pain ever again.”

Levi grins. “I never pinned you as the philosophical one.”

“You never know,” Eren says, parroting Coach Hannes from earlier.

“I’ll do it. The day I finish it, I’ll forget about him.”

Eren smiles down at him. “Thank you.”

The wind ruffles the trees in response and the dead branches tangle, dropping the last remaining orange leaves. They flutter down and land gracefully on the snow banks.


End file.
